This is going to be really funny but at the same time educational. Forgive the curse words and expressions, they are just there to create a dramatic effect for my readers; who are a very tolerant lot - at least that is what I think. So in 2011 is when I lost sight; went blind, the lights were shut off permanently. Earlier to that I had no experience in being so, trust me on that. Ever since, I have been documenting all kind of experiences to do with my blindness; Blind Bloopers: is a series of posts on my blog that documents the funnies of being in my situation. So sit back, don't pop that corn or cherry, cringe and hold on to your pants because there is no porn on this post but there is a possibility that you will laugh your pants off!
P.S. If you have missed Part 1 of this story; read it HERE
For some reason every person I meet, well not every person but most people I meet knows an expert that can solve my blindness or cure it, so they say. This expert is not limited to doctors and that difficult word to spell for an eye specialist optho something! The second or other choice I have is:
2. An ophthalmologist, a medical or osteopathic doctor who specializes in eye and vision care related ailments. There I spelled it thanks to Microsoft’s word spell check; it should have said eye doctor. These cure recommendations come out of people who are entirely strangers or people from the extended family; the family already knows that I am a no return case. The conversation starts like; why did you not show your condition to this hospital, the list of names are fired in between as recommendations. At times like a tale the conversation starts with Dr. Who is an eye specialist I know him personally, I can recommend you to him. In my mind, do you know anyone that can recommend penis enlargement pills that actually work? These Nigerians are really not giving me bang for the buck! I mean literally bang for my buck! I know that these people mean good, but give me a break brother Sam; I don’t need your yellow pages of hospital and doctor names. Like I got my own list; Cindy is on top of it. She is the cream in the cream bun, the green in the grass and very good at fingering people like me in the ass. In conclusion; I did visit some big names in the list of the hospitals and doctors to return with the same conclusion that my doctor told me after she tried to keep my liver from dying “Sorry buddy, your libido has retired”. If you retrospect, and that is a word I learned, meaning spect in the old fashion; do you think I would be sitting here and talking shop with you when I know there is a cure out there? Questions like these also come to mind: Can I afford it if there is such a treatment that would restore my sight? Would I want my sight back? Will other people I can’t see now become prettier after I get my sight back?
Don’t get me wrong, there is much research going on in this space for Glaucoma; the eye condition to which I lost my sight; Stem cell therapy, Gene therapy etc. but I would not jump the gun until they are shouting off the roof top that they can restore sight after loss due to Glaucoma. Until then please behave and keep your cures of this kind to yourself!
To be continued in Part 3; coming shortly to The Somebody, Nobody, Anybody and Everybody Blog!
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very Interesting and funny to read.
ReplyDeletebut a small suggestion from my side.
the first few lines where from your previous post, and I was about to close the tab thinking that you have republished the same post again may be by mistake. then thought of informing you in the comments, but a press of a button down has made me realise that, this is a new thing you are talking.
so,, I request you to not to start the post with the lines you used in the previous post if you are linking the previous post in this post.
and dude, I have now signed in with google to check if I get any fucking notifications if you reply to my comments here.
I would honestly appreciate if you didn't use any language in the comments. The first paragraph is a snippet on what you are about to read. For this series I am numbering the parts, so I assume that the reader knows that it's a new entry to the series. Besides which, the mail notification of the latest post reaches your inbox, not the one older to the one being published...
Delete